Prayer

We talk about prayer a lot, but what is it?  How should we pray?  Why should we pray?

Prayer is simply talking with God.  One of the fundamental issues the Bible addresses is our relationship with God.  In John 17:3 Jesus said that to have eternal life meant that we are to know God.  In fact in Matthew 7:23 Jesus says that knowing him will make the difference between saved and unsaved come Judgement Day.

So If relationship with God is that important, how do we build that relationship?  Studying the Bible is obviously important - it's the main way God communicates with us.  But prayer allows us to communicate with God, too.  We can tell God what's on our minds, share our joys and sorrows with him, ask for forgiveness, pray for friends, family and even nations.

Some people pray as if they were presenting a shopping list to God, but I believe we should also listen to what Jesus is saying to us (John 10:16).  The communication needs to run both ways, so make time to listen to God as well.  Another thing we should do is meet with others to pray (Matthew 18:20).  If your partner is a Christian you should regularly pray together.  Keeping God at the centre of your relationship can only make your relationship stronger.

There is another aspect of prayer that I believe is important.  If you have the gift of tongues, you should also pray in tongues as this will also build you up (1 Corinthians 14:4).

Finally, when God is working in your life, talk about it!  Share it, tell others - give God the glory.  In other words, witness to what God is doing in your life.

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Homosexuality - God's Judgement?

I've been thinking about Romans 1:26-27 again.  I recently read an article which suggested that homosexuality is some kind of punishment from God.  These two verses are the most common verses used from the New Testament to condemn gay and lesbian relationships.  It says:

That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other.  And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

I've previously discussed this passage and I don't want to repeat that again, I still think the key words here are "lust" and "shameful" - which I struggle to fit into loving gay and lesbian relationships.  I believe that this passage is not a condemnation of loving same-sex relationships, you can read why on this blog.  Instead I want to think about how we would apply this passage if it were talking about God's judgement. 

To see where the idea that homosexuality is God's judgement, it's important to read the whole passage in context - Romans 1:18-32.

Is it judgement?  In context I don't think so.  Verse 26 doesn't say that God gave them shameful and lustful desires, they had these desires already.  Verse 27 doesn't say that the penalty they suffered was inflicted by God.  It could merely be a consequence.  

But for the sake of argument, let's say it is a judgement.  Judgement for what?  Verses 18-25 are all about people who reject the one true God and worship false gods.  About a third of the world's population claims to be Christian.  So, we would expect to see more gay men in countries where Christianity is not the dominant religion. But we don't.  In every culture, about 4% of men are gay and 1% of women are lesbian.  The other problem with this view is people like me.  If being gay is a punishment for rejecting God, how do we explain gay Christians?  And wouldn't we expect to see more gay and lesbian people given that countries like the UK, Australia and the USA are becoming more and more secular?

Maybe the argument would only be that the penalty is the punishment.  Paul's wording is very specific - "they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved".  The NRSV says, "received in their own persons the due penalty for their error".  So clearly this penalty is something you receive in your person.  What could that be?

Some have said the penalty is HIV/AIDS but I have a couple of problems with that.  Firstly, Paul uses the past tense, people were suffering this 2,000 years ago.  HIV/AIDS is a modern illness, so it cannot be what Paul was talking about.  Secondly, lesbian sex is the safest sex someone can have in terms of STI's.  Given that Paul is talking about women here as well, any STI would not fit because lesbian sex is quite safe.  Heterosexuals and gay men are much more at risk!  Finally, I have a problem with what that would say about God.  I did not choose to be gay, or to fall in love.  Am I to be punished with such a horrible illness because of something I did not choose to be?  What kind of God is that?

So, what's the penalty?  Can I suggest that the rest of this chapter provides the answer?

When a person rejects God, and suppresses their conscience, they lost touch with their Creator, with no moral absolutes there is nothing to guide them.  When a society rejects God, there is no restraint on what is acceptable.  CNN reports what life in North Korea is like at the moment - and we saw similar stories in communist Russia as well. In Muslim countries gay men are subject to heavy penalties for having sex with another man, ranging from flogging, to imprisonment and the death penalty.  

I believe that the penalty "received within themselves" is a change of personality and values. It's the consequences of being actively guided by self rather than the Holy Spirit.  The changes within a person, and their societies, is the penalty deserved.  But that leaves a question.  Isn't this penalty for homosexuals?

No.  The people Paul is talking about are not homosexuals, they are worshipers of false gods who practiced temple prostitution.  This fits what Paul wrote from verse 18 onwards, and what we know of Roman society in Paul's day.

I do not think that anything in Romans 1 condemns gay and lesbian relationships, and I do not believe that we are subject to "special" judgement because we fall in love.

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Masks

Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love.

-2 John 1:3

Today is Halloween, when people dress up and put on masks and get to pretend to be someone they are not!  But this is not just something that people do at Halloween.  We do it every day.

How many times have you said "I'm fine" when someone asks - when really you are anything but fine!  

People have a habit of thinking about how they want others to see them, and we act this out.  We become so good at it, and we work hard to keep up the pretence   Just like someone wearing a mask, we present our carefully crafted image to friends and families.

There is a word for this - hypocrite.  The word refers to someone with multiple faces.  In ancient times actors wore masks with with different expressions, and the term is linked with that.

I believe Jesus calls us to live in radical honesty, authentic living, and to drop our masks.

Rev. Troy Perry, the founder of Metropolitan Community Churches once said, "my closet burned down a long time ago.  I set it on fire - Amen!"  We all have our closets.  They contain lots of secrets - sexual, alcohol, drugs, porn, anger, pain, abuse or anything else you can think of.  Jesus calls us to set our closets on fire!  It's not easy, but it is worth it!

Our closets trap us.  While we hide our real selves in our closets, we live a double life.  Burning down our closets liberates us.  No more secrets, no more pretending, no more lies, just authentic living in truth and love!  When someone has no secrets, what "dirt" could someone dig up on them?  When you are yourself, people can accept you as you are - just as God does. 

There's a great song by Casting Crowns called "Stained Glass Masquerade".  The lyrics include the following amazing words:

...I tuck it all away, like everything's okay.  

If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too.

So with a painted grin, I play the part again, 

so everyone will see me the way that I see them.

Is there anyone who's been there, are there any hands to raise?
Am I the only one who's traded in the altar for a stage?

The performance is convincing, and we know every line by heart.
Only when no one is watching can we really fall apart.

But would it set me free if I dared to let you see,
The truth behind the person that you imagine me to be?
Would your arms be open, or would you walk away?
Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?

I think that says so much.

Image: Google Images

Celibacy

When I was a young Christian I had been taught that gay men ought to be celibate.  There was nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian, but being intimate with another man (or woman) was always sinful.  Many Christians assume that this is a very compassionate view to take.


This view stands in contrast to the position that just being homosexual is sin.  Men and women who buy into that spend vast amounts of time and money on "reparative therapy" to become heterosexual.  I was once subjected to that by a counselor - and it gave me such hope!  Why?


These two views have very different outcomes.  In one I am condemned to life alone, if not condemned for who I am.  The other offers hope that change is possible (as Exodus International is fond of saying).  The obvious problem is that if sexuality is even partly rooted in biology, then it is not possible to change from homosexual to heterosexual.  This makes the Exodus position untenable.  It seems change is possible... to fake.


But someone might ask, can't God cure me?  Of course he can!  I do believe that it is even possible that some gay men have been cured by God - maybe the self loathing and hate was too much for them.  Our God is loving and compassionate.  But the question of cure assumes that there is something to be cured of!  If sexuality is innate then no sexual orientation is sinful - although any deviation from heterosexuality is of course a result of the fall.  But then so is being deaf or blind, and no one argues that being deaf is sinful!


So, if being gay is not a sin - there is only one question to ask.  Is it okay for two gay men who love each other, and commit to each other for life, to live as a married couple, and to express their love in sex?


For this we must turn to the Bible for answers.  There we see no condemnation of gay sex within the context of a loving relationship.  Instead we see that we are to live out our faith in love (Galatians 5:6).  It is better to marry than to burn with lust (1 Corinthians 7:9).  


It took me years to come over to the view I now hold.  I used to passionately defend the view that gay men must be celibate.  But the Holy Spirit is always teaching us new things.


Christians around the world are changing their minds on this issue.  Churches which once would not have thought twice about excommunicating a gay man now ordain partnered gay men.  You see, Christians have been wrong on many things in the past.  Slavery.  Women.  Geocentric-ism.  It's not that the Bible has changed - but the Holy Spirit has shown us that we didn't understand what He meant!


I believe that today, God is doing the same with homosexuality.  


Image: Google Images