Celibacy

When I was a young Christian I had been taught that gay men ought to be celibate.  There was nothing wrong with being gay or lesbian, but being intimate with another man (or woman) was always sinful.  Many Christians assume that this is a very compassionate view to take.


This view stands in contrast to the position that just being homosexual is sin.  Men and women who buy into that spend vast amounts of time and money on "reparative therapy" to become heterosexual.  I was once subjected to that by a counselor - and it gave me such hope!  Why?


These two views have very different outcomes.  In one I am condemned to life alone, if not condemned for who I am.  The other offers hope that change is possible (as Exodus International is fond of saying).  The obvious problem is that if sexuality is even partly rooted in biology, then it is not possible to change from homosexual to heterosexual.  This makes the Exodus position untenable.  It seems change is possible... to fake.


But someone might ask, can't God cure me?  Of course he can!  I do believe that it is even possible that some gay men have been cured by God - maybe the self loathing and hate was too much for them.  Our God is loving and compassionate.  But the question of cure assumes that there is something to be cured of!  If sexuality is innate then no sexual orientation is sinful - although any deviation from heterosexuality is of course a result of the fall.  But then so is being deaf or blind, and no one argues that being deaf is sinful!


So, if being gay is not a sin - there is only one question to ask.  Is it okay for two gay men who love each other, and commit to each other for life, to live as a married couple, and to express their love in sex?


For this we must turn to the Bible for answers.  There we see no condemnation of gay sex within the context of a loving relationship.  Instead we see that we are to live out our faith in love (Galatians 5:6).  It is better to marry than to burn with lust (1 Corinthians 7:9).  


It took me years to come over to the view I now hold.  I used to passionately defend the view that gay men must be celibate.  But the Holy Spirit is always teaching us new things.


Christians around the world are changing their minds on this issue.  Churches which once would not have thought twice about excommunicating a gay man now ordain partnered gay men.  You see, Christians have been wrong on many things in the past.  Slavery.  Women.  Geocentric-ism.  It's not that the Bible has changed - but the Holy Spirit has shown us that we didn't understand what He meant!


I believe that today, God is doing the same with homosexuality.  


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