Following Bobby's death, his mother began searching for answers. Was her son in hell? She eventually came looking for answers at the Metropolitan Community Church (my denomination) and also at PFLAG. It took the tragedy of her son's suicide before she realised that her understanding of the Bible was wrong. She said:
"I deeply regret my lack of knowledge concerning gay and lesbian people. Had I allowed myself to investigate what I now see as Bible bigotry and diabolical dehumanizing slander against our fellow human beings, I would not be looking back with regret for having relinquished my ability to think and reason with other people... people I trust for truth and guidance in my life and in the life of our gay son. God did not heal or cure Bobby as he, our family and Clergy believed He should. It is obvious to us now why He did not. God has never been encumbered by His child's genetically-determined sexual orientation. God is pleased that Bobby has a kind and loving heart. In God's eyes, kindness and love are what life is about. I did not know that each time I echoed 'Amen' to the eternal damnation, referring to Bobby as sick, perverted and a danger to our children, [I did not know] that his spirit was [being] broken until he could no longer rise above the injustice of it all. Bobby ended his life at age twenty. It was not God's will that Bobby jump over the side of a freeway overpass into the path of an eighteen-wheel truck, killing him instantly. Bobby's death was the direct result of his parent's ignorance and fear of the word gay. An injustice has been done not only to Bobby but to his family as well. God knows it isn't right that Bobby is not here with loved ones. Correct education about homosexuality would have prevented this tragedy. There are no words to express the pain and emptiness remaining in the hearts of Bobby's family members, relatives, and friends. We miss Bobby's kind and gentle ways, his fun-loving spirit, his laughter. Bobby's hopes and dreams should not have been taken from him, but they were.
There are children like Bobby sitting in your congregations. Unknown to you they will be listening as you echo Amen, and that will soon silence their prayers. Their prayers to God for understanding, and acceptance, and for your love. But your hatred and fear and ignorance of the word gay will silence those prayers. So, before you echo Amen in your home and place of worship. Think, think and remember a child is listening."
Amen to that.
Thank you so much for this blog post. I hadn't heard of this story, but I was able to watch the movie on YouTube. I don't think I've cried like that in a long time.
ReplyDeleteSigourney Weaver delivers a stellar performance in a movie that's so sad... but at the same time so positive, inspiring, and happy. For, despite Bobby's suicide, love really was able to conquer all. It conquered the heart of a woman who deep down always loved her son, but simply didn't know how to. It melted away her fear, her disgust, her prejudice, her anger, and left nothing but that sacred bond between mother and child that, I believe, is our first lesson on God's love for us.
I'm not into the excesses of Pride parades, but I've marched with my church for the past three years and plan to continue. Every year, I want to tell someone who needs to hear it that there are places where people do say Amen to children like Bobby.
Peace.
Hi Radical Christian
ReplyDeleteIt is an amazing film - but tragic that it is true. Like you, I never engaged with pride at all until last year when my pastor "sold" it to me as outreach (which is actually why we go). It was amazing. There are so many people hurt by Christians and the Church. To listen to them and pray for them was privilege. Sadly some Churches protest at pride, which just reinforces the hurt and pain.
Take care!
:-)